In Memory

Last night, while enjoying my evening at a graduation party, I received a text message from a very, very good friend of mine. I was so excited when I saw it was Lauren. We had been planning on hanging out in a couple days, when Kyle and I are visiting San Jose. The text said "Please pray for my dad, he's having a heart attack." That was then followed by messages and phone calls from other friends, making sure I knew and that I was praying, as things didn't look good for her dad (Terrence, but we all called him Terry). Paramedics and doctors tried for hours to revive him.

Lauren lost her dad last night. He was only 52, and was in good health, with no history of heart problems. Thankfully, Terry was able to spend his last day on earth wind surfing with his son, one of his favorite things to do. Also, thankfully, he was a Christian, and now is getting the biggest sailboat heaven has to offer.

Lauren became one of my best friends in middle school, and we stayed very very close all through high school. Even now I consider her to be one of my dearest friends, and I cherish so much all the time I was able to spend with her family over the years. Terry was an amazing, fun man, and he raised two terrific kids, and influenced so many lives as a teacher. He had just stepped down from his position as a Christian high school teacher, and had accepted a position as a professor at San Jose State University for the upcoming school year.

It's so incredible for me to see the influence he had for Christ. I believe he grew up with some sort of belief in God, but had mostly abandoned that, and Lauren and her brother were not raised in a Christian home. It's not that it was an anti-God home, just no real belief. I invited Lauren to church in 8th grade, and then to Hume Lake Christian Camp that summer. It was a miracle in itself that she was able to go to camp - it was full by the time her parents decided she could go, and there was a waiting list. There was a cancellation, I believe the day before camp, and Lauren was able to go. At camp that summer, ten years ago, Lauren became a Christian. Her immediate concern was for her family, and their salvation. We prayed often, and in time, the entire family came to belief in Christ. Terry then went on to teach at a Christian school, in the area of media, and his goal was to restore Christian values to the media.

Please pray for this family. Terry leaves behind a wife, Robin, and daughter Lauren and son Chris. I can't even imagine what they're going through right now. Please pray.

I love my little girls!

Well, they really aren't mine, but I love them so much anyway! I had a blast the other night (Tuesday) with my two nieces. Kyle and I go over to his parents every Tuesday night for dinner, and then we help out with Taylor and Ayla while Ryan and Sarah get to go on a date and have a break from the kids. I chased Taylor around all night with my camera, and got some pretty good shots of her. I took soooo many pictures! So, this post has quite a few. But trust me, they're worth it. My nieces are adorable!

One of the things Taylor loves to do is play in her sandbox and her pool. Her sandbox really is just a planter box filled with sand, but she loves it! A couple weeks ago she was standing in her sand, and I poured water into it, and asked her if it felt weird. Now, every time she goes over to Grandma and Grandad's house, she wants to "make weird." She fills up her bucket, pours it into the sandbox, and says "I'm making more weird!" She's so cute!

Later in the evening, she showed us how she can roll her tongue. Talented little one!



Now, here are some of the good pictures I got of the two that night. Grandma was reading to her in the first one.

You can see a booger in her nose in this one!

She has the most beautiful, curly hair. I love it! (It reminds me of mine :) )

She loves her swing.

Hanging out in the tree.

I hope my kids are as adorable and fun as these two are.

Test Results

I finally got results back from Kyle's lab work last week, after calling my doctor. They're horrible about calling when they receive test results! Anyway, everything looks pretty good, and there's nothing for us to worry about with him (Thank you Lord!). At least one of our bodies works normally! Unfortunately, since I took this month off from the meds in order to get him tested, we have no clue when the next time will be that we'll get to try, since my body is so weird and not on any sort of schedule. Now we just play the waiting game, and once next cycle comes around, it's on to round three of the meds. I've got 3 more cycles left I can do before having to take a break from the drugs, so hopefully one of them works! Thanks for your prayers!

Amazing Testimony

My aunt sent this to me, and I had to share it with you ladies. Definitely inspirational, and makes the things I deal with pale in comparison. Though, as he says, we should not compare sufferings. It's about 9 minutes long, but definitely worth watching. You can also find shorter videos about him if this one is too long!

Pray for good results...

This will be short and sweet... We need your prayers for good test results! Despite the fact that he was completely uncomfortable and hated the whole ordeal, Kyle agreed to be tested so we could rule him out as a contributing factor to our infertility struggles. Somehow, he got through it! Don't know when we'll get the results, but pray that everything is normal. It's bad enough that my body doesn't work right, we really don't want to have to deal with two contributing factors.

Completely off topic... Kyle is watching Nashville Star, and I'm appalled by the people they picked for their top 12. The medley the top 12 just did was horrible!

The thing that's bugging me

So I said in my previous post that there was something bugging me and I needed to write about it. Really, it's my attitude that's bugging me, and I need you to pray that it gets better! I really am doing okay, despite the fact this month wasn't it. I trust God's timing for my life, and I know that it will happen when the time is right. I'm so much more at peace with things in my life, and while I still couldn't accept that I'm supposed to remain childless indefinitely, the waiting for it to happen is becoming a little easier. Problem is, I have this little nagging thought, not all the time, but on occasion, that somehow God's plan for other people's lives isn't right. I hate that I feel this way, because it means that part of me doubts God's plan, but let me explain...

I know that everything happens for a reason, but since we don't always know the reasons, things get frustrating. I look at the world, and I see sooo many problems, and I see sooo many people reproducing who, in my eyes, really shouldn't be. And then there's Kyle and me, and so many other couples going through the same thing. Kyle and I are still pretty young, but we're able to provide for a family. We're looking for a house to buy so that we're even more prepared to raise a family. We're two people who love the Lord and would bring up our kids in a godly home and in a church. We both long for a family and know that it is a God given desire for us to have kids, and (I think) we would be great parents. There are so many other couples in the same situation, who would be amazing parents and are able to provide for a family, yet unable to have one. So why have we not been blessed with children, yet I look around and see pregnant teenagers without the means or the knowledge to raise a child. Pregnant single women who don't want a child, so they get rid of their child. I also see couples who really shouldn't be having children at this point, again in my opinion, because they are completely incapable of raising children to be productive members of society, and instead they are reproducing like bunnies and raising children in environments that no child should be subjected to, and perpetuating social problems like crime and poverty. So, why can they have kids, and we can't? This is something that bothers me, but I wish it didn't, because I know there is a reason for all this. It's just hard for me to deal with at times.
My best friend had a baby at 17, and Hannah ended up being the biggest blessing and the best thing that could have happened in Sarah's life. Sarah is a wonderful mother to Hannah, so I know that children born into not the greatest circumstances can be wonderful blessings and that they are part of God's plan. I guess I just hate seeing children is circumstances that no child should have to go through, when there are so many couples who would be wonderful parents, yet they are unable to have children. And I think, why is this happening? And then I hate that I think like that, because I know that God's plan is the best, even when we can't see the reasoning behind His plan. Pray for me. My attitude needs a readjustment at times.

In other news, we're actually going to take this month off of the medication. I hate to do it, but we've decided to get Kyle tested as well. I can only be on the medication for 6 cycles, and we've already used two. We (really, it's more me - Kyle hates the idea of being tested) don't want to waste any more cycles, then find out that there is a problem with him as well. So, hopefully we get good test results back, so we can jump back into baby making.

:(

Well, ladies, it didn't work this month. It's disappointing, but I'm doing okay. Thank you for your prayers and support, I know you were cheering me on. I have to go down to work and clean out my classroom, but I'll get back on later today/tonight and post some more. There's something that's bothering me and I need to let it out! I did want to put a quick thing up though, for those who have been wondering if our lunch time adventure worked. (My mother in law tells me "Well, at least you had a fun lunch!" Kyle would DIE if he knew his mom said that! He was freaked out enough that I had even told her that I went home that day at lunch.)