Back from Royal Family!

Wow... just wow...

I am completely sold.

I didn't want to come home.

In fact, I'd really like to go back up right now.


I honestly cannot adequately describe what the past week was like. I'll try my best, but I know I am going to fall so short of communicating just how incredible an experience RFKC was. This might get long, but trust me, it's worth it to read.

We had twenty-three kids this year - 12 girls and 11 boys, ranging from 7-11 years old, and somewhere around 40 adults. If you didn't catch my last post, each of these kids is in the foster care system because of prior abuse. Most of them have been sexually abused, in addition to physical or emotional abuse, or neglect. Some of them have also suffered abuse in their foster homes. I don't know each child's story, but the things I heard about what some of the kids have been through is absolutely haunting. It's stuff I can't share, and I wish I didn't know. Some of the kids seems fairly well-adjusted, or at least as adjusted as you could ask from a child in their situation. Other kids presented problems. There were quite a few of the little boys who were highly interested in the female staff members. I had a ten year old ask if I had a boyfriend. A few of them had a hard time following rules, and they kept wanting to run off, away from their counselors. Many of them had horrible attitudes, like nothing at the camp was interesting or good enough for them. Despite all of that, it was one of the best weeks of my life.

I got to sit with hurting kids while they learned that God is their shepherd, and that he is with them no matter what they go through. I got to sing songs with them about how God will change their name - from wounded and outcast to confidence and overcoming one. I got to watch as joy lit up their faces, something I imagine does not happen very often. I got to love them as much as I could in one week, and got to send them home with precious memories.

We did archery, face painting, arts and crafts, and took apart car motors; we swam, played dress up, had tea parties, worshiped, watched skits about sheep, and celebrated everyone's birthday. Thursday we had a huge birthday party so we could celebrate that each one of them was born. We had cake and punch, and each kid got a birthday bag full of goodies. They each received a CD player and a CD of the worship songs we did during the week. They got a photo album full of pictures of them throughout the week. They also got a birthday box full of toys and fun things for them to play with. In addition to the stuff they received at their birthday party, at the beginning of the week they each got a hand-made quilt, and a duffel bag of personal care items and a Bible. They received a lot of 'stuff' but they also received something so much more important.

Thursday night we did a talent show. We had a bunch of ghetto little kids break dancing, but there were also touching moments. An 8 year old girl sang a song that she wrote. It just broke my heart as she sang about how Jesus was her shepherd and how he would not leave her. Two brothers sang "Jesus, lover of my soul." It was so cute, because the part that goes "my Savior, my closet friend, I will worship you until the very end" was sung as "My Lord, my specious friend." You couldn't help but smile.

They age out of the camp at 11 years old. Some of the kids come every year from the time they are 7 until they graduate (we even have a graduation ceremony and each 11 year old gets a mortar board that we've all signed), but some kids come for the first time as 11-year-olds. One of our G.I.T.s (graduates in training - the 11-year-olds) was a boy who was there for his first time. All week he acted like he was too cool for most everything that was going on. But he asked the Bible teacher if he could give back his G.I.T. card and come again next year.

Each child writes two letters at the end of camp. One is a letter to God, and the other one is titled "Why I Like Royal Family Kids Camp." When we get back the staff has a debriefing party, and we read all the letters. The stuff in them is just heartbreaking. So many of the kids prayed for their moms in their letters to God. They wanted their moms out of prison, or they wanted to be with their moms, but understood that they couldn't right now. Some kids said they liked camp more than they liked being at home. One girl, an 11 year old who had been for four years, wrote the following (paraphrased as best I remember): "With all I've been through, this (RFKC) has helped put me back together, but there are still some pieces missing. But that's okay, because one thing can't cover it all." She's eleven! No one her age should have to be burdened with that kind of wisdom.

One of the other special things about camp is Grandma and Grandpa. They are an absolutely wonderful older couple, and they go up as camp Grandma and Grandpa for all the kids. Before every meal, everyone has to get a hug from both of them. It was so great watching the kids, wary at the beginning of the week, run up to get hugs from their Grandma and Grandpa by the end. We also did a balloon release on the last day. Each kid wrote something on a piece of paper they wanted to give to God, tied it to a balloon, and all together they released their balloons up to heaven. That last day was so hard. The kids were shutting down - trying to protect themselves from the painful goodbye that was coming. One of the boys just kept sobbing. Every time I looked at him I would start to cry. I wanted to be able to take him home with me.

I also can't explain the change that has happened in me. I came down off that mountain with a completely different set of priorities. I've already taken my fertility meds this month, but Kyle and I have decided that if this month doesn't work, we'll be taking an extended break from trying to conceive. And honestly, part of me is actually hoping this month won't work. I know it's crazy that I'm saying that, but as excited as I would be to find out I was pregnant, it would absolutely break my heart that I couldn't go to RFKC next year. There is something amazing about being able to show a hurting child the love of God, and I don't want to miss out on that. It's an absolutely incredible change that has happened in me. Kyle looked at me like I was insane when I asked him what he thought about taking a break for six months to a year, but we've decided that it would be really good for us. Assuming this month doesn't work, we'll take time to pay off debt, enjoy our life together, fix up the house how we want, etc, and we'll both go to RFKC next year. And if this month does work, we'll be thrilled to welcome our own child into our home, and we'll stay as involved with Royal Family as we possibly can. I'm really seeking God's will right now, and it seems like it's finally sunk in that maybe having children of our own is not part of God's plan for us right now. I still strongly believe that it will happen some day, but for now I see my priorities shifting. I want to be the best wife I can be to my husband, and focus on him instead of trying to get pregnant. I want to be the best teacher I can be, and love and nurtue my students. I want to be there for my friends, instead of being the one who needs a shoulder to cry on. I want to get involved with the abortion ministry that is starting at my church. And I want to get as involved as I can with the Royal Family ministry.

So that's where I'm at right now. Huge changes, but I feel the most at peace that I've ever felt.

Perhaps it's because He has changed my name.

I will change your name
You shall no longer be called
Wounded, outcast
Lonely or afraid

I will change your name
Your new name shall be
Confidence, joyfulness
Overcoming one
Faithfulness, friend of God
One who seeks my face.

Royal Family Kids Camp

This Sunday I will be leaving for what I know will be one of the hardest, most rewarding weeks of my life. I'll be working as the drama director and a rover (I'll explain that in a bit) at Royal Family Kids Camp. If you've never heard of Royal Family, you're missing out. Royal Family is an organization of camps for abused and neglected children in the foster care system. Every year over three and half million kids are abused and/or neglected, and Royal Family makes a difference in the lives a small number of those kids by creating a week of positive memories for these kids. The name refers to the fact that we are part of God's royal family, and as such we are all princes and princesses in God's family. That's definitely a change in treatment from what these children are used to! (and as I'm rereading that, it really sounds like some promotional ad or statement I took off the website...)
Like I said, I'm the drama director for the week, so I've been in charge of directing all the chapel skits. They're all really cute skits, and I have a great team of actors I'm working with. They just need to memorize their lines! Sigh, actors... :)
I'm also a rover, or a member of the support staff. Every counselor only has two kids, so they get so much more attention than at most camps we're used to. There's also a "two deep" rule, meaning that at all times, there must be two adults together with any children. Because of the background these kids come from, we really have to cover our bases. Each counselor has a buddy counselor, and then the rovers are available to step in and help out wherever it's needed, so that there are always two adults. We're also there to relieve the counselors so they get a periodic break.
I'm very excited about the week, but I also know it's going to be a very emotional week. I would love if you guys would join all of us in praying for the week - for strength and energy for the staff, and especially for the kids. You can also pray for me specifically, as I'll be on my fertility medication while we're up there. What fun! Thankfully the last couple times I've been on it I haven't really had a reaction, but especially because of the kids I'll be working with, I really need to be aware of my mood and how I'm acting. I've had a lot of practice keeping it under control when I feel it affecting me, since I was on it so many times while I was teaching and dealing with unruly high schoolers, so I should be okay, but I really would just prefer to not have a reaction to it at all so that I don't have to work to enjoy myself and be a pleasant person to be around. So pray specifically for: no mood swings, no headaches, no nausea, and no hot flashes. My meds sound like fun stuff, don't they!
I'll be back next Friday, and soon after that I'll let you guys know how the week went!

Thankful...

For so many things!

~An amazing, safe trip to beautiful Hawaii with some completely awesome teenagers ~


~ Including super-fun parasailing with Kyle ~


~ Tons of progress made in painting the living room ~

~ A new fence on the sideyard to keep Marley corralled ~

~ My Marley baby, even though she drives me crazy and might be retarded :) ~


~ A brother-in-law who helped us order all the parts for a new computer ~

~ Said brother-in-law who will be putting together the new computer when it gets here ~

~ My new flower pots that match my front door ~


~ New curtains for the kitchen and living room ~

~ A pastor who continuously teaches me so much every Sunday ~

~ My wonderful husband who built me the new fence ~

~ New flowers in my garden ~


~ A heart that is healing and growing and learning ~

~ The support and love and prayers I get from all of you ~

~ So much more ~