New House Pictures

I'm finally getting around to showing you guys what else we've done in the house. The last pictures I showed you were just after we moved in, and we'd barely done anything! Now, it's been months since we moved in, and we've still barely done anything! Now, that's not quite true, but it sure feels like it. Our kitchen has been complete for quite some time, and we tore out bushes in the front yard and put in some plants a few weeks ago. I got tons of paint squares at Home Depot the other day so I can pick out colors for the rest of our house. I mean, so WE can pick out colors. I doubt you want a detailed description of every paint sample I picked out, so I'll just tell you that I picked out colors for both bathrooms, our bedroom, and the spare bedroom (hopefully nursery?) as well as the living room. And I'm hoping for Home Depot birthday money from the family so I can actually afford all this paint! Oh, yeah, I'm almost 24. Next Monday!

So... here are the pictures. First, the kitchen.

And the front yard.

I also must tell you that I can tell that you guys are praying for me! God has been really working in my life over the past couple weeks, and I would never have enough time to fully explain what He's been doing, but it's been incredible. I found out another friend was pregnant, and this time I felt only pure, pure joy for her, and couldn't (still can't) stop praising God for giving her this miracle after they've tried so long. A lot of songs we've been doing at church have had a huge impact, as well as messages and conversations, and just random little things. Kyle and I are now praying together and for each other every night, which is something we've never done consistently. We've always just kinda done our own thing, and I am so excited about what this is going to do for our relationship. I also just bought a few books, three that are written by women who have struggled with infertility, and another one that is a devotional Kyle and I are going to do together called Moments for Couples Who Long For Children. I'm just waiting for them to come to me so we can get started. So that's where I'm at right now - so much more at peace, and very content, and very hopeful, and so excited to see what God is going to do!

Quick Update

Thanks so much ladies for praying for me! I'm still really struggling, but I also feel hopeful again, so I think I'm getting back on the right track. I think the reason that I've been so emotional (besides that I'm pumped full of hormones, of course!) is because we're nearing the year and a half mark at the end of this cycle. So, if this one doesn't work, we'll reach yet another 'milestone' on this journey, and that's something I really don't want! Most couples get pregnant within 6 months when they are actively trying, so reaching a year past that just gets depressing. Also, and I know this is super silly, but my birthday is in just a few weeks, and I'll be 24 (I know, so old!), but I always thought I would have a baby or be pregnant by then. My mom had me at 23, my MIL was 23, and I think my SIL was 23 as well, and I'm not going to get that if this month doesn't work. I know, silly, but when you're full of all kinds of additional hormones, things like that can be very upsetting.
The good news, though, is that if it doesn't happen this time for us, I'll still have at least one more time on the meds, possibly two, before looking in to anything else. I had been thinking that this was our last try, so the stress and pressure have been incredible, and let's just that the last few days have not been so jolly, and Kyle is probably sure his wife is going crazy. But my doctor wants 3-6 ovulatory cycles before doing any more tests, and this is my 5th round, but one time the meds didn't work. So this round should give us our 4th ovulatory cycle, and we'll do one or two more times before doing some more tests to find out why things aren't working how they should work.
I also started looking at some adoption information the other day, but about five minutes into it I had to stop. We've always (from the time we were dating) talked about adopting, and we've always been very open to the idea of adopting children. We always wanted a family that was mixed with biological children and adopted children. I never thought though that adoption might be our only option. And if that ends up being the case, we'll be completely fine with that. There are so many children out there in need of love and a good home, and I want to open my arms up to several of them! However, I realized once I actually started looking at information that I'm no where near where I need to be emotionally to even consider adoption. I'm not ready to give up my dream of being pregnant and having biological children yet. Not to mention the financial aspect of trying to adopt- we're not in that place either. So until God actually calls us that direction, we're going to keep hanging on to this roller coaster we're on.
Even though I'm doing a little better I still covet your prayers! Pray that we'll have patience, that we'll trust God's plan in all this, that I'll be able to handle my mood swings with grace ;) and that Kyle and I will grow closer together and closer to God through all this. I've really been convicted on that recently, and I know that Kyle and I really need to focus more of our self as a couple on God. So I'm going to look for a Bible study for us to do together (any suggestions?) so that we can make sure our relationship with each other and God is as strong as it can be when our little one does decide to come along.
Thanks and I love you all!

Trying not to wallow in self pity...

Please pray for me, friends. I've been doing so, so well lately. I've been happy, content, and at absolute peace with our baby situation. I've been praying fervently, for us and for friends going through the same ordeal. And I've been doing so well.
I just found out yet another friend is pregnant. And while I'm excited for her, a huge wave of depression washed over me once I found out, because it's yet another reminder of what I don't have and yet want so desperately. I need an attitude adjustment again; I'm so tired of crying and being emotional over something I can't change. Pray for me, please.

MIA

Yes, I've been gone for quite awhile! Not gone entirely, though - I've still been keeping up with your lives. I honestly just haven't had time to get on here and write anything, and even now I'm thinking of everything else I need to be doing, but it's just been so long! So, quick run down of what has been going on over the past couple months, and hopefully later I'll be able to post some pictures of improvements we've made to the house, and our little baby Marley, who is getting so big!

In no particular order:
~ We re-did the front garden area of our house earlier this week. If you go here you can see what it was like before. Look at the second picture- three big UGLY bushes that had a seriously nasty fungus growing in them. Gross. My parents came down on Monday, and on Tuesday we tore the bushes out, took out all of the stupid lava rock that was in that area, cleaned the dirt up the best we could, and put in new stuff! I haven't taken a picture yet, but we have park bench, and stepping stones, and a beautiful Japanese Maple with gorgeous red bark, and pansies all around. It's wonderful, and it looks infinite times better. When I get a picture of it, I'll also take one of our kitchen, because I just realized I never showed you the finished version! My dad also made a fool out of himself by asking us if they made coffee without caffeine, so we got a good laugh at his expense, and now you can too!
~ Marley graduated from puppy school this week as well. I don't know if she really deserved it... but we were at the required number of sessions to get the certificate, so Yay Marley! She's still a menace, but she's learning. She thinks she's a lap dog, even though she's getting too big for that. She was only 6.5 pounds when we got her, and now she is almost 25! She's still tiny compared to most Shepherds her age, so who knows what type of dog she is mixed with.
~ After taking a break from fertility meds while we moved and got settled, we were finally able to start back up again. I'm now on a higer dose, and have done one complete cycle with the higher dose, that didn't work (meaning we didn't get pregnant - the meds did their job). We're now starting round two of this higher dose, and our 5th round overall. This may be my last round before moving on to other testing or treatments, so I'm praying this one is it! I almost decided to not try again at this higher dose because it really, really messed with my body and my emotions last time. Too many hormones! But, we'll give it one more try, and then I'm thinking of going to see a natural healer type person that helped my sister-in-law with a pregnancy related skin condition that no one else could heal.
~ We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we were losers on New Year's Eve, but still had a good time! I had Thanksgiving at my house for the first time, and cooked my first turkey (and it came out great!). We then went up to my aunt and uncle's house for a second Thanksgiving with my side of the family, and ate WAY TOO MUCH amazing food. For Christmas we went to that same aunt and uncle's house, and the whole family was there. My parents and sister, my mom's parents, my cousin's, and my other aunt and uncle from Texas were out. We also brought up Marley. :) Again, we ate way, way too much, which is pretty common at our family gatherings. My aunt is the queen of appetizers. We played my cousin's Wii, and my Papa played with us. It's hilarious watching your 80-something grandfather try to play Wii bowling! We also had a Reynolds family Christmas on Christmas day (I was lucky this year, and Kyle wasn't working!) with Kyle's parents and his brother's family. It was so much fun with Taylor and Ayla (my nieces). New Years we went over to Kyle's brother's house and had pizza (as a picnic on the living room floor, because that's what Taylor wanted) and junk food, and started watching the first Lord of the Rings because Kyle had never seen it. Well, we got through disk one, and by that point (10:30) we were all so tired, so Kyle and I went home and went to bed before midnight! Sad, I know.

So there's a quick update, and hopefully I'll find some time to post pictures of recent events and house improvements. I have one more week of Christmas vacation, and of course, I haven't done anything for school yet, and I REALLY need too. That's my next week project. And now, I'm going to go make bread in my new bread maker! :)

Happy New Year!