The thing that's bugging me

So I said in my previous post that there was something bugging me and I needed to write about it. Really, it's my attitude that's bugging me, and I need you to pray that it gets better! I really am doing okay, despite the fact this month wasn't it. I trust God's timing for my life, and I know that it will happen when the time is right. I'm so much more at peace with things in my life, and while I still couldn't accept that I'm supposed to remain childless indefinitely, the waiting for it to happen is becoming a little easier. Problem is, I have this little nagging thought, not all the time, but on occasion, that somehow God's plan for other people's lives isn't right. I hate that I feel this way, because it means that part of me doubts God's plan, but let me explain...

I know that everything happens for a reason, but since we don't always know the reasons, things get frustrating. I look at the world, and I see sooo many problems, and I see sooo many people reproducing who, in my eyes, really shouldn't be. And then there's Kyle and me, and so many other couples going through the same thing. Kyle and I are still pretty young, but we're able to provide for a family. We're looking for a house to buy so that we're even more prepared to raise a family. We're two people who love the Lord and would bring up our kids in a godly home and in a church. We both long for a family and know that it is a God given desire for us to have kids, and (I think) we would be great parents. There are so many other couples in the same situation, who would be amazing parents and are able to provide for a family, yet unable to have one. So why have we not been blessed with children, yet I look around and see pregnant teenagers without the means or the knowledge to raise a child. Pregnant single women who don't want a child, so they get rid of their child. I also see couples who really shouldn't be having children at this point, again in my opinion, because they are completely incapable of raising children to be productive members of society, and instead they are reproducing like bunnies and raising children in environments that no child should be subjected to, and perpetuating social problems like crime and poverty. So, why can they have kids, and we can't? This is something that bothers me, but I wish it didn't, because I know there is a reason for all this. It's just hard for me to deal with at times.
My best friend had a baby at 17, and Hannah ended up being the biggest blessing and the best thing that could have happened in Sarah's life. Sarah is a wonderful mother to Hannah, so I know that children born into not the greatest circumstances can be wonderful blessings and that they are part of God's plan. I guess I just hate seeing children is circumstances that no child should have to go through, when there are so many couples who would be wonderful parents, yet they are unable to have children. And I think, why is this happening? And then I hate that I think like that, because I know that God's plan is the best, even when we can't see the reasoning behind His plan. Pray for me. My attitude needs a readjustment at times.

In other news, we're actually going to take this month off of the medication. I hate to do it, but we've decided to get Kyle tested as well. I can only be on the medication for 6 cycles, and we've already used two. We (really, it's more me - Kyle hates the idea of being tested) don't want to waste any more cycles, then find out that there is a problem with him as well. So, hopefully we get good test results back, so we can jump back into baby making.